8/24/2000
by Lisa Killian

(Or how to play D&D with no Imagination)

I love to play Dungeons & Dragons. When my friends and I don’t play, I complain until we start a game again. When a game is going, I am the one who moans and groans every time we skip a session, or the game ends too early for my taste. What I'm saying is that I really, really enjoy D&D. There is just one problem: I have no imagination at all. In fact, I usually spend at least two hours figuring out the name for my character, let alone her class, race, hair color, etc. My solution? Hack and Slash.

Hack and slash is often denigrated as a lesser form of gaming. However, in some circumstances, it isn’t. Doesn’t every game need a character that can enter the fray to get the job done? I like to be the hero that protects all the wizards and clerics from the monsters. The game wouldn’t be worth playing if all the mages got killed in the first ten minutes, and I'm there to make sure that doesn't happen!

My Characters are usually fighters, and they all have ridiculously high Strength and Constitution with average intelligence and wisdom. I usually play with a group of people who always play wizards, clerics or rogues. On low levels my character always has the distinct advantage of being the toughest one on the party. I like knowing I can contribute something to the game by whipping some butt!

In my group, a lot of time is devoted to character development, and coming up with stories, plot development and solving puzzles. We also see a lot of people who make characters with funny accents. I’m not really good at any of that. In fact, I can’t do an accent to save my life. If I were born and raised in Scotland, I probably still couldn’t do a Scottish accent! But do you want to know what happens to all these well thought-out characters as soon as we start playing? If I don’t wield my hefty sword and defend the wussy priests and mages, they die—usually in some dramatic way, so that their players can use those perfectly honed accents one last time before making new characters!

Brawn can be used to solve a lot of other problems, too. When it comes to getting out of a jail, brute force is the way to go! Why wait for the rogue to pick the lock when I can just break the door down? Muscles can often be a great substitute for Intelligence when you're adventuring in a dungeon, too. Why negotiate with the Goblin chieftain when you can cleave him in two with your sword? It worked for Gandalf in The Hobbit, didn't it? There is often nothing more important to the outcome of an encounter than a high attack and damage rating; I like making sure mine's higher than the other guy's.

Most of the people I game with spend a lot of time on character development before we start playing. I often wonder why. Maybe I’m the one with the problem, because it seems to me all the stories are pretty much the same after a while. Doesn't it ever seem like every character background there is has pretty much been done? I understand the desire to connect with one's character—I really do—but once we get playing, does any character's background really matter? It's what you do after you become a full-time hero that counts! That's why, when I need a background for my character, I just grab a novel that I like and pick a plot out of it. I get a little story for my character and I'm done.

To sum up what I’m saying: there is a valid place for hack and slash. It can be very fun to play a character that is little more than someone who goes around and beats people up. It is often needed in the group so others can have a chance to advance their characters. It is also a good way for someone (like me) who has little imagination, to be able to play D&D and still have a lot of fun. I say, "Long live hack and slash!"

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